Deuteronomy 6: 1-10 

According to Dr. Armand Nicholi, A psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School, it is now known that emotional development in children is directly related to the presence of a warm, nurturing, sustained and continuous interaction with both parents.  Anything that interferes with the vital relationships with either parent can have lasting consequences for the child.  One landmark study revealed that 90% of the children from divorced homes suffered from an acute sense of shock when separation occurred, including profound grieving and irrational fears. 50% reported feeling rejected and abandoned, half the fathers never came to see their children 3 years after the divorce.

1/3 of the boys and girls feared abandonment by the remaining parent with an intensity that researchers described as “overwhelming”.  More significantly, 37% of the children were even more unhappy and dissatisfied 5 years after the divorce than they had been at 18 months.  In other words, time did not heal their wounds.

Dr. Nicholi said divorce brings such intense loneliness to children and the  pain is difficult to describe or even contemplate.

Do not permit the possibility of divorce to enter your thinking.  Even in moments of great conflict and discouragement, divorce is no solution. It merely substitutes a new set of miseries for the ones left behind. Guard your relationships against erosion as though you were defending your very lives.  Yes, you can make it together. Not only can you survive, but you can keep your love alive if you give it priority in your system values.

It is true, of course, that the society in which we live actively mitigates against marital stability.  Any one of the following evils can rip your relationship to shreds if given a place in your lives.

1. Over commitment and Physical exhaustion: this suggestion should be noted by young couple.  Do not try to go to college, work double jobs, fix up a house and start a business at the same time.

It sounds ridiculous, but many young couples overworked themselves by doing double at the expense of their new home, and then surprised when their marriage falls apart.

Why wouldn’t it. The only time they see each other is when they are tired and worn out.  You must reserve time for one another if you want to keep your love alive.

2. Money Matters: 

In many relationships: business, friendship, church, and marriage, if money is not properly handled, it can create a lot of havoc. The challenge of money in marriage can be in the following areas:

** Overuse and Misuse which can lead to shortage of funds.

** Secrecy about the source of income

** Husband should endeavor to provide for His family needs

** Husband should not be dictatorial concerning economic needs of the wife

 ** Do not base daily expenses on Credit card: it is advisable to pay cash for consumable items or don’t buy. Don’t spend more for a house or car than you can afford. Allocate your funds wisely.

3. Selfishness: there are 2 kinds of people in the world; the givers and the takers. a marriage between 2 givers can be a beautiful experience.

Friction is the order of the day, however for a giver and a taker. But 2 takers can tear each other to pieces within a period of six months. Selfishness will devastate a marriage every time.

4. Interference from In-laws: if husbands or wives have not fully free or emancipated from their parents, it is best not to live near them. Autonomy is difficult for some mothers (and fathers) to grant, and close proximity is built for trouble.

5. Unrealistic Expectations: some couples come into marriage anticipating rose covered cottages, no disagreement, and uninterrupted joy. This romantic illusion is particularly common nowadays especially women who expect more from their husbands than they are capable of delivering. The consequent disappointment is emotional trap. Bring your expectation in line with reality.

6. Space invaders: when a spouse is jealous or with low self-esteem, it can create serious problem between couple. Love must be free and it must be confident and not based on suspicions.

7. Alcohol or substance Abuse: these are killers, not only of marriages but of people.  Avoid them like the plague.

8. Addictions: Pornography, Gambling, Sex, Alcohol or Drug.

As human, there is tendency for human being to experience personality flaw by getting hooked on destructive behaviors.

People often think and believe they can play with enticements such as pornography or gambling as fun and not get hurt with such behavior 

In actuality, only few walk away unaffected.  For some, there is a weakness and a vulnerability that is not known until too late. Then they become addicted to something that tears at the fabric of the family. Friends, many who wreck their lives, their problems often begin with experimentation with a known evil and ultimately end in death…or the death of marriage.

The restrictions and the commandments of scriptures were designed to protect us from evil. Romans 6:23 says the wages of sin is death.  If we keep our lives clean and do not permit ourselves to toy with evil, the addictions which have ravaged humanity can never touch us.

9. Sexual Frustration

Loneliness

Low self-Esteem

The Greener grass of infidelity.  They are deadly combination.

10. Business Failure: it does bad things to men especially.  Their agitation over financial reverses sometimes lead to anger within the family.

11. Business success: it is also as risky to succeed wildly as it is to fail miserably in business. The writer of prover said, give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me my daily bread.  Those who profit handsomely sometimes become drunk with power and the lust for more wives and children are forgotten in the process.

12. Getting married too young: Girls who marry between 14 and 17 years of age are more than twice as likely to divorce as those who marry at 18 and 19 years of age.  Those who marry at 18 or 19 are 1 ½ times as likely to divorce as those who marry in their 20’s.  The pressure of adolescence and the stress of early married life do not mix well.  Finish the first before taking on the second. 

The killers are limitless but these are the common ones.